See you soon Mr. Lynch.

Grief is such a personal and maybe also a private thing. So little do we know about grief and how to hold it. Maybe it is something to be felt deep inside, and thus is difficult to articulate. Something to marinate in, to be lived with for days, like how we wear sweaters in winters and one day - boom, they are gone. It's summer time! 

A part of me is also embarrassed to be sharing this grief so publicly. It would hardly ever make sense to anyone- even to myself! But then like he often said, life is full of surprises and so difficult to make sense of. It is a strange feeling what he left me with. I have till date - fortunately- not lost a loved one and was often having fears of seeing death up close. 

Who would have thought that it would be Lynch who would give me this feeling for the first time. It's very hard to describe. When a man in the park tried to come close and chat with me, I could only say “My grandfather has died today.” 

I have not watched a lot of cinema, a film meant for me often travels my way. I often believe this for every piece of knowledge - if it's meant for you, it will come to you. And so how grateful am I to have found David Lynch while he was alive. This introduction happened a bit late, in Covid days through his Masterclass ( a reason entrepreneurs with good intent are all we need). Thank god for that timely intervention! I was soon a regular visitor to his You Tube channel. What joy to open the computer everyday and hear him speak about the weather in LA. It was as if his words hardly mattered, it was enough that one could hear his voice through the screen. A man like that was alive in some part of this world, it felt like a beautiful gift. 

I am a nobody to comment on his stature as an artist. That man could do anything- and to perfection! His commitment to his craft to his #artlife is so conspicuous in everything he does. Its always the process and the joy of doing that he celebrated with all his multiple "projects". Last year, when I travelled to Europe, I came across his autobiographical - biography, today my most precious. 

David Lynch has given the courage to me for being myself and most importantly the courage to make Gagan Gaman - by trusting my intuition. When the film came to me within minutes, it was Mr. Lynch who spoke to me and said “run with it”. Can't thank him enough for that, I feel freer, more empowered and brave today. 

Inspiration from an artist is like that - not the wish to be more of the other- but to be more of you. 

Last year, prepping for Rewrite, I dreamt of having Lynch over for a guest lecture. A silly dream some may say, but it was my job to do what I could. I didn't act soon enough. My biggest lesson after his death is to have a piece of those you love just when you can. Don't wait. Our job is to try. To honor these ideas. I still can't believe he is gone. This is unreal. I write with tears in my eyes. Thank you Mr. Lynch for making me experience this for the first time- what a loss of a loved one feels like - I feel better prepared for life hereon. 

I will take my time to get off this mourning because in some sense, this is a feeling of holding hands with the one who has left- for as long as you can. 

Meanwhile, I feel it's important to highlight that last message from Mr. Lynch. For his lifelong love for cigarettes, in his last days he was suffering from Emphysema. It was painful and suffocating and in a way it's good that he did not have to suffer for too long. In his last message, he urged us to quit smoking  “I really wanted to get this across: Think about it. You can quit these things that are going to end up killing you” 

To fellow mourners and admirers, have a great day everyone!